Your Feelings Are Real, But They Don't Have to Drive!

Emotional Resources: Your Feelings Are Real. They Don't Have to Drive.

Have you ever been so frustrated that you wanted to quit your job on the spot?

Have you ever sent a text message in anger or frustration, only to wish you could pull it back five minutes later? Have you snapped at someone you love because you had a terrible day?

We all have emotions, and sometimes our feelings are genuine responses to things that are difficult. Sometimes they are magnified by exhaustion, overwhelm or being hangry (you know what I mean).

Our feelings are real and they deserve our attention.

But our feelings cannot be what make our decisions!

At Thrive 10:10, one of the resources we explore in Getting Ahead in a Just-Gettin'-By World is our emotional resource. It's the ability to deal with life on life’s terms without resorting to self-destructive behaviors. Also, the ability to have adults in our lives who we can process things with who will listen and allow us to move into responsive mode. NOT talking to our 9 year old because they are a great confidante.

And while we talk about emotional resources in Getting Ahead, this resource really isn’t only for folks who are taking our classes. It is literally something we all need. Emotional Resources benefit us when we are leading a team, navigating relationships, parenting or simply trying to get through a difficult Tuesday afternoon.

When Our Emotions Take the Wheel

Imagine you've had a terrible morning. You didn't sleep well. You're running late, and then you get a flat tire. When you finally arrive at work, your supervisor criticizes something you worked hard to accomplish.

You're frustrated. You're embarrassed. Maybe you're angry.

At that moment, you have options.

You could tell your supervisor exactly what you think of them, walk out, and quit. You could spend the rest of the day replaying the conversation in your head, snapping at everyone who crosses your path. You could send a message to a coworker that makes the situation even messier.

Or you could pause…..and choose different.

You might still be angry and disagree with your supervisor. You might eventually decide that this job isn't right for you. But instead of making a major decision in the middle of an emotional storm, you give yourself time to think.

The difference when it comes to emotional resources is that one person allows the feeling to determine the next move, while the other makes room for the feeling without handing it the keys to drive the car.

Emotional resources help us respond to our circumstances instead of automatically reacting to them.

Emotional Strength Isn't the Same as Keeping It Inside

Having strong emotional resources doesn't mean you never cry, get angry, or never need help. It can mean the exact opposite. You may do all of those things, but you don’t let them lead your activity, you let them inform your awareness of your next move.

Emotional Strength doesn't mean keeping a smile on your face when you're hurting or pretending you're fine so that you don't inconvenience anyone. And it certainly doesn't mean tolerating disrespect or remaining in an unhealthy situation.

Sometimes a healthy emotional response is crying. Sometimes it's expressing anger. Sometimes it's setting a boundary, asking for a change, or deciding to leave.

The goal isn't to get rid of our emotions. Our emotions can tell us something important about what we're experiencing, what we value, and what needs our attention. They truly inform our awareness of what may need to happen next.

Emotional Resources are just one thing we can leverage as a strength in our life. There are so many.

In Getting Ahead, we talk about 11 Resources that we can have as strengths. When we are aware of them, and employ them in our lives, we can really make some amazing changes in our lives. Here is a list for your awareness, but we will go through them in the coming weeks.

Financial Resources

Emotional Resources

Mental/Cognitive Resources

Language Resources

Social Capital/Support Systems

Physical Resources

Spiritual Resources

Integrity and Trust

Motivation and Persistence

Relationships/Role Models

Knowledge of Hidden Rules